Tag: funny

Real Talk

Yet another climate change study that says we’re all going to die. Oh and Happy World Environment Day!

Today is World Environment Day so let us take a moment to talk about a climate change study that warns that 90% of humans will perish by 2050, and the funny thing is that the study says that that is the most optimistic scenario. The study “errs on the side of least drama.”

The predicted 3°C rise in temperatures will result in a 0.5m rise in sea levels, dooming coastal cities like Mumbai, Lagos and Shanghai and reducing such places to swamplands. Many of the 10% who do survive will be climate refugees, forced to relocate to safer areas.

You might think this study is a gross exaggeration – Even I’m not fully buying it – but if we don’t use our collective minds and technology to save us, then we won’t stand a chance against the forces of climate change.

Real Talk

Dear Smokers: Smoke alone and die alone. Stop infecting others with secondhand smoke.

Given how polluted the air is in India, do we really need smokers making it worse? Can your lungs afford it? No, they can’t. Since today’s World No Tobacco Day, let’s remind smokers everywhere that if they insist on poisoning their bodies, let them do it by themselves. The rest of us don’t need to suffer from secondhand smoking.

In fact, world governments should create designated ‘Smoking Centers’ where smokers can gather and smoke themselves to death. Smoking should be banned everywhere else. Let’s hope that by World No Tobacco Day next year, there are fewer smokers ruining it for everyone else.

Real Talk

Every time you wipe your ass a tree dies

Well maybe not every time but 10% of trees are cut down every year to manufacture toilet paper. While the alternatives aren’t appealing, such as using a piece of cloth that you have to wash every time you take a dump, it is worth keeping sustainable alternatives in mind. But then again is that really sustainable? You’d have to use water to wash that cloth… Well, the point is that you should always think about how to make your lifestyle more sustainable.